It seems like a contradiction when reading or hearing that if we want more love in our lives then we need to give more love. Typically, we might often believe that just asking for more love will draw it into our lives. The truth is like attracts like. Giving love attracts more love into our heart, mind and spirit.

One of the best examples of giving with love was Mother Teresa (August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997) a Catholic nun who spent much of her life serving others. For more than 45 years she ministered to the destitute, the poorest of the poor as she used to say. She and her groups of nuns served the sick with enthusiasm and love. They cared for little children who were orphaned, and she even developed a hospice division of service especially for the dying. Her work initially began in India but at the time of her passing away in 1997 Mother Teresa’s programs were operating 610 missions in 123 countries. Mother Teresa spread a blanket of love over the world touching everyone she and her nuns could reach.

She was loved my hundreds of millions, even billions of people throughout the world. So what does this have to do with you and I?

Mother Teresa was an example of the practice of giving more love. Her model taught that when we give more love, we receive more love.

Love is energy. Love must flow to grow. If the supply of love in our lives is smaller than we desire, the best thing we can do is connect with more people in as many ways as possible. Each person needs to find the connections, which mean most to him or her, and then nourish those relationships with love.

There is a great story from one of my spiritual teachers in which two masters are walking in the desert by the light of the moon. At one point they seem to have lost their way. One of the masters asks the other, “Lord, we have lost our way, which direction should we go?” The Teacher replied, “what does the way matter to us friend when the entire world needs us.” If we have lost our way and wish for more love consider the needs of those around you.

Sometimes connecting with others is a simple as a kind word, a warm smile, providing encouragement to a friend or family member who has lost love in their lives. During times of strain economically in our country so many are deeply stressed about their uncertain future. Find someone who could use some support, and give them your kindness, compassion and encouragement. Each act of service to help someone else creates live giving energy both for the person expressing support through some loving act, and the person who is struggling.

When I worked in hospice 10 years ago, it struck me that when people are sick and dying, they seem to receive fewer hugs, and less physical touch. However, this is the time when feeling love from others is most needed. It is important to provide a sense of well being to another person through hugging them, holding hands, an arm around their shoulder. One hospice volunteer was a massage therapist who organized a team of other massage therapists to give massages to hospice patients. She instinctively knew that touch, even though a small gesture was healing.

One of my favorite studies is the one from an orphanage in Russia many decades ago in which they began to monitor why some of the children were growing up taller, and some were smaller. The smaller children had higher mortality rates, with some dying in infancy. Hospital staff began to ask what was the cause of this trend. As they researched further it came to light that some groups of babies were not getting pick up and held early in infancy. As the trend continued in late baby stages the effects of being “ignored” had already begun to take effect with early deaths, and then followed by slow growth rates. The babies who had not been held grew 25-30% less with immune deficiencies. For us to feel healthy and loved we need to be touched, held, hugged. Some call this a “skin hunger”, meaning we need to be loved through touch to be happy and healthy.

Each of us can do so much to contribute to the welfare of others. When we plant good karmic seeds of love they certainly will sprout into a garden of blooms bright with the colors of love.

When using Match.com for dating I noticed that dating profiles seldom mentioned what a person was going to give, but more often discussed what they wanted. A dating profile is a love resume, which is best, focused on what we can give to a relationship with a smaller emphasis on what we want to receive. Relationships are ultimately a form of service to one another, giving and receiving love based on mutual connection.

Few truths are truer than if we want more love, then give more love.

Would it bring your greater happiness to feel more appreciation and love for yourself?

The way others treat us may be a mirror of how we treat them. Those with critical behaviors are often bothered by criticism from others. A person with judgmental attitudes is often offended by judgmental behaviors when directed towards them. If we want more love in the mirror of our lives, we need to give it away to others with greater openness. Often this is a challenge if we don’t feel love for ourselves because if there exists inner judgments, criticism and harshness in our hearts, then it becomes reflected onto the mirror of love in our lives.

When we feel unloved, it is likely that we are not expressing the love that those around us need. Love is a mirror of our actions and expressions, or lack thereof. If we are not receiving love, then we likely are not acting with the motivation to love others. We see in others what we have within our own emotional patterns, and mental attitudes. As we shift towards love and away from anger, fear, hatred and jealousy then awareness of love increases within us.

Sometimes we hear a grouchy loved one remark in frustration, “Why are people so grouchy”. This gives rise to us thinking, “do they realize how grouchy they are?” We often times focus on how others behave rather than owning our broken behaviors which lack love, kindness and respect. Love is a mirror. If negative behaviors bothers us deeply it is because we are seeing the mirror of our own negativity.

If we want more love in our lives then the best way to attract love is to give more love. The reason this is so important is that we attract who we are, what we radiate outwards to others gets reflected back into our lives. For example, if you go into a convenience store to buy something and the person behind the counter is in a bad mood, if you treat them with kindness chances are they will respond by being more friendly. Or, if you are grouchy with your family they may withdraw in order to feel safe.

We disconnect emotionally when feeling unsafe, attacked, ridiculed, unappreciated or ignored. We connect when feeling safe, loved, appreciated, honored and admired. Love is a mirror of how connected we are. Listen to your heart, and it will tell you what needs to be added to any relationship to increase love.

Make the intention to treat everyone you contact with a measure of loving-kindness in some form or another. Everyone deserves to be treated with love. When they are grouchy or irritable find the most fitting way to honor their need in some way through compassion, words of support, and kindness. If a loved one is not feeling heard, listen to them. If they are feeling under appreciated, find an appropriate way to appreciate them. Compliments or small acts of service are often the most socially appropriate way to let a family member or friend know you care. You will need to find the way to serve with love so that the person receiving it will find it palatable.

The first stage of growth in love is awareness. We need to be aware of the ways in which we treat each other with love or contempt. What are we expressing towards ourselves and others? If people are not loving in their treatment of us, it may well be that we are not treating them with love and kindness. Love is a mirror which can awaken the awareness of the needs of others.

Were not responsible for how other people act, but we do set an example for how we want others to treat us by the way we treat them. The example of love sets the tone between you and your friend, loved one or family member. By being an example of love we are saying, “this is how I like to be treated.” Love is a mirror of what we value.

The law of attraction says that we attract to ourselves that which we think, feel and do. If we want more love in our lives, then we need to plant the seeds of love through our physical gestures towards those around us. Acts of kindness and love will generate benefits far beyond what we can imagine. If you want to receive love from others then be a mirror to love for them. The one thing were not in control of is the timing of other people’s response.

In order to support the process of healing, and create better loving tools within our heart and mind to sustain love, we recommend some study on the topic of loving-kindness. Listen to this helpful, 3 Cd home study course which supports an understanding of how to create loving-kindness in your life. This is best one I know of created by Sharon Salzberg. It’s called Loving-Kindness Meditations. Click here to take a look at a short course on increasing love and kindness in your love relationships. Sharon teaches you how to increase the love inside you as well as between you and your loved ones.

Loving-kindness Meditation teaches a traditional practice for cultivating love, and applying it as a life-changing force. As a result of practicing these simply meditations you’ll gain these benefits:

* Learn how to melt away feelings of isolation

* Understand how to awaken your true compassion, even for those who have hurt you .

* Develop the ability to free yourself from needless suffering, while helping others find happiness.

* Cultivate the ability to more deeply trust your own loving, intelligent heart.

Remember that it is up to you to create the kind of love mirror you want in your life. If you have more connection to love inside you, then you have more love to give. Love blossoms best when we express more love to others as well. Let go of expectations of receiving love back because that suppresses love. Expectations create resentment. It is an intutive truth that when you give freely of the love inside your, love more freely returns to you.

Pick up your copy of Loving Kindness Meditations for a limited time at 20%, that’s $19.97. This offer will not last, and is subject to current inventories on hand. Your relationship deserves the best. This healing series has improved thousands upon thousands of lives, why not your’s.

Wishing You More Love In the Mirror of Your Life,

Christopher Lee May

PS: If you haven’t already done so, click here today to take advantage of the Loving Kindness Meditations home study Cd program, it will increase the love you see in the mirror of your life.