If You Want More Love, Give More Love

If You Want More Love, Give More Love

It seems like a contradiction when reading or hearing that if we want more love in our lives then we need to give more love. Typically, we might often believe that just asking for more love will draw it into our lives. The truth is like attracts like. Giving love attracts more love into our heart, mind and spirit.

One of the best examples of giving with love was Mother Teresa (August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997) a Catholic nun who spent much of her life serving others. For more than 45 years she ministered to the destitute, the poorest of the poor as she used to say. She and her groups of nuns served the sick with enthusiasm and love. They cared for little children who were orphaned, and she even developed a hospice division of service especially for the dying. Her work initially began in India but at the time of her passing away in 1997 Mother Teresa’s programs were operating 610 missions in 123 countries. Mother Teresa spread a blanket of love over the world touching everyone she and her nuns could reach.

She was loved my hundreds of millions, even billions of people throughout the world. So what does this have to do with you and I?

Mother Teresa was an example of the practice of giving more love. Her model taught that when we give more love, we receive more love.

Love is energy. Love must flow to grow. If the supply of love in our lives is smaller than we desire, the best thing we can do is connect with more people in as many ways as possible. Each person needs to find the connections, which mean most to him or her, and then nourish those relationships with love.

There is a great story from one of my spiritual teachers in which two masters are walking in the desert by the light of the moon. At one point they seem to have lost their way. One of the masters asks the other, “Lord, we have lost our way, which direction should we go?” The Teacher replied, “what does the way matter to us friend when the entire world needs us.” If we have lost our way and wish for more love consider the needs of those around you.

Sometimes connecting with others is a simple as a kind word, a warm smile, providing encouragement to a friend or family member who has lost love in their lives. During times of strain economically in our country so many are deeply stressed about their uncertain future. Find someone who could use some support, and give them your kindness, compassion and encouragement. Each act of service to help someone else creates live giving energy both for the person expressing support through some loving act, and the person who is struggling.

When I worked in hospice 10 years ago, it struck me that when people are sick and dying, they seem to receive fewer hugs, and less physical touch. However, this is the time when feeling love from others is most needed. It is important to provide a sense of well being to another person through hugging them, holding hands, an arm around their shoulder. One hospice volunteer was a massage therapist who organized a team of other massage therapists to give massages to hospice patients. She instinctively knew that touch, even though a small gesture was healing.

One of my favorite studies is the one from an orphanage in Russia many decades ago in which they began to monitor why some of the children were growing up taller, and some were smaller. The smaller children had higher mortality rates, with some dying in infancy. Hospital staff began to ask what was the cause of this trend. As they researched further it came to light that some groups of babies were not getting pick up and held early in infancy. As the trend continued in late baby stages the effects of being “ignored” had already begun to take effect with early deaths, and then followed by slow growth rates. The babies who had not been held grew 25-30% less with immune deficiencies. For us to feel healthy and loved we need to be touched, held, hugged. Some call this a “skin hunger”, meaning we need to be loved through touch to be happy and healthy.

Each of us can do so much to contribute to the welfare of others. When we plant good karmic seeds of love they certainly will sprout into a garden of blooms bright with the colors of love.

When using Match.com for dating I noticed that dating profiles seldom mentioned what a person was going to give, but more often discussed what they wanted. A dating profile is a love resume, which is best, focused on what we can give to a relationship with a smaller emphasis on what we want to receive. Relationships are ultimately a form of service to one another, giving and receiving love based on mutual connection.

Few truths are truer than if we want more love, then give more love.

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